I sat in front of the computer for the first time in a while.

I did open my blog a few times to see if there were any errors. I also checked my email and worksheets, but it has been a really long time since I sat down with Note open.
Lately, I have been constantly handling plaster bandages, mixing reinforced plaster, manipulating castings, assembling and disassembling pipes... and even spreading out a large amount of soil to experiment with reliefs outdoors. The opening of my first exhibition is just one month away.

Lately, I’ve been telling my partner a lot that I feel somehow empty, and I actually have felt that way a bit. It had been a long time since I’d spent a Sunday night just helplessly letting time pass, unable to get any real rest or focus on anything, simply because I didn't feel like working. Everything feels lacking, and nothing feels right. Why do I have these feelings and thoughts? Do people push themselves to buy houses, have children, and live frantically just to forget this? I have nothing to begin with, so why am I looking for something? My schedules didn't align because I was busy, and it just so happened that I was on my period, so I ended up being lazy with my exercise—and that led to more useless thoughts. Feeling like I have nothing to grasp, still unable to just live. Books are always on the bookshelf, and I can open them whenever I want, so I don't underline or transcribe. Will the work I put off like that also manifest as something bad for me?


And then telling the person sitting in front to stop thinking.
Tell someone to read the label of any product in front of them when they are too anxious and their thoughts won't stop.
Chasing only what looks good—why do such things seem as if they are within reach at any moment?


To confront things without merely realizing it—to understand that this is that and that was that—you have no choice but to do something. We do this even though we know it. Whether it is work or household chores, you have to move and go about your life for that "Ah" moment to come.
Maybe I just find those things often and simply want to talk about them.
Even if it is a trivial matter, putting your heart into it and leaving a comment might make you feel a little less regretful.